Break The Curse Of Maternal Hatred & Abuse

As I was reading the word of God today a line appeared and it said “identifies the speaker as Nehemiah, son of Hachaliah” . Lately , God has been speaking to me a lot about motherhood and parenting in my personal time with God . There are not many good examples of motherhood especially in the church. There are not good examples of loving our children and preparing our children to carry the torch. Although , Nehemiah authored a book of the Holy Bible , his father Hachaliah planted the seed so that Nehemiah could go forth . 

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Bigger Opportunities 

Maybe Nehemiah father didn’t have the same opportunities as Nehemiah did. Maybe Nehemiah father HAD to work on the farm all day to provide for his family … Maybe Nehemiah family was born into poverty and he HAD to work long hours to get his family out of poverty ? Maybe all this is true . 

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Personal Experience 

When I was in High-school although I was accepted into a AP Program for gifted children , I wasn’t allowed to do homework when I got home because my abusive family made me and wanted me to fail out of the program because according to their words they wanted me to be a bum like my father

 – but I would NEVER do that to my own child … My daughter Ruth is so smart and so advanced that she shocks many at her level of intelligence… now only if she could not climb out her crib and climb out when she thinks I’m not looking that would be nice 😂

I didn’t have another option beside the military actually truth be told I never wanted to go into the Marines , I wanted to go into the Army buuuuttt again they wouldn’t sign the papers for any other branch because there was a weird obsession of making it look like I wanted to be like someone’s creepy spouse 

• with Ruth … she is NOT ALLOWED to enter into the military .. she better figure it out , now when I have a son maybe … because God has told me something about my future son . But my daughter ? NO ! 

I went through a lot of abuse as a child , things that I’m to ashamed to even speak of , but because she was a police officer she abused me and did some of the most evil and terrible things to me and then called the police on me and 9 times out of 10 they believed her because she was a police officer , but there was 1 police officer who said that God had a plan for me 

• That will NEVER be Ruth’s story , I would never call the police on my daughter and I would never let my husband abuse her . I would never purposely make her fail school to become a statistic. Because I love her . 

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Truth is while reading this one simple line I understood Nehemiah’s father … I didn’t have opportunities… I didn’t have chances my life was hard . While people enjoyed Highschool I had to work at jobs to get out of the house as soon as I turned 18 . But that will never be my daughter’s story . Nehemiah father probably didn’t have the same chance as his son , but it’s the fact that his suffering provided a way for his son to honor him and carry on his legacy . 

I get tired of hearing the same story of “well the only reason she did that is because that happened to her” that’s a bunch of crap . I didn’t abuse my daughter and I never had the desire to do it . Just because you were abused doesn’t give you the right to abuse someone else . Love your child and break the curse ! 

Isaiah 54:17

King James Version

17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.

What was difficult is that even though people knew I was raped , abused , molested somehow some way it was always my fault . In the church they said I was raped or harassed because I had a spirit in me . Now you could imagine my journey to Christ was not easy . I left the church because I didn’t want anything to do with Christian’s because of what I saw . But when I was in the wilderness , I was broken down so low that I had to call out to God . I had to find God for myself , I didn’t come to God at church or through prophecy , but through The Holy Bible . 

There are some days I struggle as a mother . My daughter is beautiful so she gets a lot of attention … smh we were actually in the store the other day and a 4-5 year old boy literally broke his neck staring at her I got angry but honestly … it scared me a little . It scared me because I know what I have been through .. and that’s a whole other battle . Sometimes it does scare me when I see the attention she gets … people always tell me that they are obsessed with my daughter … but daily I trust him (God) for help in raising a beautiful daughter … because I just don’t want her to experience the pain I went through because of beauty . 

If I didn’t do anything else on this earth , I want my legacy to be remembered as a woman who taught mother’s to love God and not abuse their children . Especially, for multi-cultural women (Titus). We have to break that curse of hating our daughters and children , we have to break that ! Multi-cultural women we have to do better and love our daughters and sons.. even if no one loved you . 

Love Sandre’a ,