Managing My Regret Of Entering Ministry

Overcoming Regret 

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Lately 

Lately I have been in deep thought because I will be 30 in 3 years. I have a registered church, books, and a business at the age of 26 (my birthday is in April) but I feel empty. I do not feel fulfilled in ministry. Truth be told I never wanted ministry and as a prophet it has been a lonely and difficult road. It has been difficult to find a spouse that makes me happy (it has not happened), constant rejection and betrayal by almost everyone has almost made me one of the most angry people in the world, and yet my childhood still angered me the most. Lord do not throw being a veteran into the mix because people then like to call the police like I am some threat to society or something for being in the Marines. 

I realize my call is never to fit the crowd. But I wonder how many preachers out there have my same mentality.. How can you find joy in something you truly never wanted to do? If I wanted to be a preacher then maybe I would be happy but I did not. I guess that’s the hard part of the call of a prophet.. Prophet’s tend to endure a season of truly being miserable and without a cause. It is not easy watching all of these wayward preachers listen to secular music and post how perfect their family is while God in my opinion is being overly strict on you. 

I know that I am not the only one. Many days I wished I could go into a different profession and truly do something else because I could care less about people. In my mind I have a daughter, I have other responsibilities and I could care less about the church or other “souls” . I’m a whole mother. 

Sometimes I regret even entering into ministry because it truly was not worth it. I regret going to church because of the persecution that I suffered even from “apostolic” ministries. I regret it.. Yet I cannot take back my success even though I wish I could. But to those pastor’s out there that truly feel like giving up, trust me you are not alone. It is crazy how you open a ministry after God tells you and then these bums have the nerve to attack your every motive and move as if they could handle being in your position. I remember one day some idiot told me that God would give my assignment to someone else lol yeah ok. Be my guest, feel free to walk in my shoes. I would be glad to hand you everything and go back to the way I want to live… but that is neither here nor there. It is very ironic that people attribute to your ministry and then believe that they could do or do it better. How hilarious. Needless to say… to every frustrated pastor out there male and female you are not alone. To every minister in a miserable marriage yet dying on the inside in ministry you are not alone. But especially to everyone prophet who feels bitter and angry you are not alone. Being a prophet and watching everyone prosper while you’re being “obedient” has got to be one of the top 10 worst things on this earth.. I’m not even lying. But I want you to know that your emotions and how you feel are normal.. 

Apostle Diamond Chessier 

Happy New Year From Apostle Sandre’a!

Happy New Year  

Wow, welcome to 2023! God is so faithful; I feel like so much has happened and yet the Lord has kept us through it all! This is a year after praying God told me to tell his people to be happy no matter what! Be happy, love and enjoy your life! Find contentment in all seasons and remember that you can do all things through Christ that gives you strength … amen? Amen.  

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Daily Devotion: Can God Be Clearly Seen In Your Life?  

Daily Devotion: Can God Be Clearly Seen In Your Life?  

Matthew 3:3 

New Living Translation3 The prophet Isaiah was speaking about John when he said,“He is a voice shouting in the wilderness,‘Prepare the way for the Lord’s coming!  Clear the road for him!’”[a

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Sometimes we wonder… God why? Well, the answer is what portal in your life is welcoming unnecessary warfare? Is it the music you listen to? Is it the pictures that you post that are inappropriate? Is it the shirts that you are wearing that do not exemplify Christ? That’s the answer. If you want and need God to move in your life. Then you have to make a clear path for him to have his way in your life. Keep going and make it clear and make plain to God that you need God to move in a quick and speedy way.  

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Merry Christmas Nehemiah

This Christmas has been a little hard because it is the first Christmas that I openly talked about my unborn son and finally told the truth. I have never told the truth about what I have done but now the truth is out. I prayed and God told me it was time to release it because it would save someone else’s life but also to discuss the pain of abortion even if it is by pill. However, I faced some backlash and some people were offended by his father. It is not hidden that my son’s last name is Hammonds, that is his father’s last name. I said who he was because people have lied on me so much and so many rumors I did not want there to be any confusion and God told me to set it straight. But what angered me is that some people were offended by my testimony of my son … My eyes have been opened.

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I will never be ashamed of my son. I will never deny my son to please my husband. I will not act like I never had another child to make my husband happy. If I have to lose my marriage for that… I’m okay with that. People are hypocritical. I do not have some weird obsession of his father. As I have stated before me and his father currently.. well there is nothing much to say about that. His father has moved on and so have I. I wish nothing but the best for my son’s father. I wrote about him previously because I believe I was building courage to finally tell the truth.

I will always love my baby. I cried for years . His name is Nehemiah Seth Hammonds. I do not care if religious people are offended by my son. You can go to hell and die. Be grateful because I could have said that a lot worst.

I love you Nehemiah. Mommy would never deny you.

Daily Devotion : Hosea 3 MSG

Hosea 3The Message

In Time They’ll Come Back

Then God ordered me, “Start all over: Love your wife again,
    your wife who’s in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife.
Love her the way I, God, love the Israelite people,
    even as they flirt and party with every god that takes their fancy.”

2-3 I did it. I paid good money to get her back.
    It cost me the price of a slave.
Then I told her, “From now on you’re living with me.
    No more whoring, no more sleeping around.
    You’re living with me and I’m living with you.”

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4-5 The people of Israel are going to live a long time
    stripped of security and protection,
without religion and comfort,
    godless and prayerless.
But in time they’ll come back, these Israelites,
    come back looking for their God and their David-King.
They’ll come back chastened to reverence
    before God and his good gifts, ready for the End of the story of his love.

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