Tag: Congo

Sometimes It Takes Another Mom To Give Advice

My child, don’t reject the LORD’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. – Proverbs 3:11

True Story

So when I was targeted by the police in New Bern for a crime I did not commit, my daughter saw the entire thing. My daughter saw me get arrested and she saw all the bad things her father did to me while I was married. So for a while (because she was a baby), my daughter was silent but she clung to me. Now, my daughter at two years old literally will NOT let me go. I mean she will not let me go, if I go to the bathroom she cries because I am leaving. If I talk to someone else she gets upset because she wants all my attention. All she wants to do is hug me and touch me. That is all she wants.

So…

So at 12:00 a.m. my daughter was upset because I was not holding her and began to cry. Now, you all know I was in the Marines so maybe my reaction was not the most gentle but I am trying to change to be more gentle to her. But then I really felt God convict me and tell me that she is traumatized from watching the police arrest me when I was in New Bern (but thankfully I was never arrested again). So, another mom came with confirmation and told me she was in bad relationships before and her daughter was like that also. I really needed to hear that because man does it get hard. But I am saying that because sometimes another mom who has a little more experience in motherhood has to help another mom through those nights that they can’t sleep because the baby is up, just by giving some practical advice. As for Ruth, I am going to get her therapy because although I did my best with her she saw the abuse I went through with her father and she saw her father frame me and set me up and it has really affected her. I love my daughter and I will do what needs to be done for her to heal in the healthiest way possible.

Love Mommy Diamond,

These are the most recent pictures of Ruth at Church on Sunday. I can’t believe my baby girl has gotten so big she is going to be three this year and her hair has gotten longer ! This was the first time I put fancy things in her hair and she loved it, she couldn’t stop smiling when she looked in the mirror and she got so many compliments on her hair ! God is good ! I did her hair by the way !

Date: 2/09/2024

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Sudden Miracles

Genesis 41:41-46New International Version

Joseph in Charge of Egypt

41 So Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt.”42 Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph’s finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck. 43 He had him ride in a chariot as his second-in-command,[a] and people shouted before him, “Make way[b]!”Thus he put him in charge of the whole land of Egypt.

44 Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I am Pharaoh, but without your word no one will lift hand or foot in all Egypt.” 45 Pharaoh gave Joseph the name Zaphenath-Paneah and gave him Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On,[c] to be his wife. And Joseph went throughout the land of Egypt.

46 Joseph was thirty years old when he entered the service of Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from Pharaoh’s presence and traveled throughout Egypt.

Genesis 41:41-46New International Version

Joseph in Charge of Egypt

41 So Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I hereby put you in charge of the whole land of Egypt.”42 Then Pharaoh took his signet ring from his finger and put it on Joseph’s finger. He dressed him in robes of fine linen and put a gold chain around his neck. 43 He had him ride in a chariot as his second-in-command,[a] and people shouted before him, “Make way[b]!”Thus he put him in charge of the whole land of Egypt.

44 Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I am Pharaoh, but without your word no one will lift hand or foot in all Egypt.” 45 Pharaoh gave Joseph the name Zaphenath-Paneah and gave him Asenath daughter of Potiphera, priest of On,[c] to be his wife. And Joseph went throughout the land of Egypt.

46 Joseph was thirty years old when he entered the service of Pharaoh king of Egypt. And Joseph went out from Pharaoh’s presence and traveled throughout Egypt.

**

Do you know why I posted that verse twice ? Because in 10 years you will be so happy and will laugh at the trials that you’re facing now . As you are reading this , God is sending supernatural help to step in and intervene in your situation . Think of Joseph . Joseph was lied on , thrown into jail for a crime he didn’t commit , and he was betrayed by his own brothers . Joseph never got to see his mother Rachel before she died and while everyone else was getting married , Joseph was in prison for a crime he didn’t commit . Then 13 years later that same Joseph was the ruler of Egypt , married to Asenath ( a beautiful woman) , and he was now a father to boys . Joseph story is the inspiration for trillions of modern day Christian’s so stand firm and know that God has your situation all under control and that no weapon formed against you shall prosper .

Queen Diamond

https://www.lulu.com/shop/queen-diamond/overnight-miracles/hardcover/product-w442gnp.html?q=Queen+Diamond&page=1&pageSize=4

Date : 2/07/2024

Diamond Chessier

No I Don’t Love My Daughter More Than My Other Baby

Revelation 21:4English Standard Version

4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

**

I remember before I divorced my husband Ra’keem we got into a bad argument around Christmas because he didn’t want me talking about my other child , and I corrected him and told him don’t ever disrespect my child . I thought it was ironic because he took care of his crack head ex-wife other two kids that didn’t belong to him but told me not to bring up my child . That’s crazy . Anyways , I remember I was looking at a picture of me and Ruth and I got sad because I didn’t want my baby in heaven to feel like I loved Ruth more than him . No , the problem was when I was younger I wasn’t good enough to be that child’s mother . I was the problem and not that child. I was an atheist and I had a lot of problems from my own childhood. It was me . So , sometimes I look at my daughter and I tell her that she should be grateful and stop being spoiled . Because I guess I resent myself for what I did . It’s … it’s the pain of never getting to hold him , not seeing his first steps , not seeing him say “mama or dada” … he probably would have walked just like his father , his father smiles when he walks and bounces a little I don’t know why that’s just how he is . It’s the moments that I experience like seeing Ruth happy when she is on the swing … I hate myself because I don’t get to see my other baby happy on the swing . I never get to see his beautiful hands … his curly hair … the beautiful smile . His gorgeous eyes . His glow … what did I do ?

Diamond

Date : 2/06/2024

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Here I Am Grieving Again ..

So , as I told you all my story about my other baby in heaven . But today .. right now I’m thinking about him again. Honestly , sometimes I look at pictures of his father because like … I try to imagine what the baby would have looked like . I don’t think people understand how painful an abortion is . I made a huge mistake, I was told that I would be put in the brig for being overweight in the Marines while I was pregnant . I was left alone and ( I was an atheist at the time ) I just figured the baby was better off with God than with me . After that I started dating Jesus . I used to just go to the beach and sit by the ocean and cry and talk to God . Now I admit I wasn’t the best person before I knew Jesus but I know I would have been a good mom . What is ever harder is that a pastor told me that abortion was the right decision, which is why I left the church I wish I never listened to her . Years later I think about the baby , because you know when you get around prophets they tend to tell you what God is saying and everyone keeps prophesying “it wasn’t your fault “ … but that doesn’t take the pain away . When I look at Ruth I feel so guilty . Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine cuddling next to him and holding him . It’s the worst when I dream about him , I cry . I dream about him in heaven wrapped in all white cloth in a basket like Moses . That’s the worst . I’m glad God has him but I don’t know how to stop hating myself . I pray but … like it doesn’t take the pain away . His father ( not saying I miss him cause I don’t ) has a very beautiful smile so it’s painful when I think of him ( I think it was a boy because I have been pregnant two times and I felt totally different with Ruth … with Ruth I was sooooo hungry and you could see it in my face , with the other baby I was so angry and emotional (not hungry ) and a little bloated ) . Then what made it even worst is that the fathers friends went to my job and told everyone he didn’t want me because I was black and they laughed at me (while I was pregnant ) . Man that was a terrible time , I think the self hatred came because I don’t know why I let what they said get to me . But I’m trying to forgive myself . I don’t think his father and I would have ever worked out . But I know that that baby would have been beautiful like his father . For a while I hated his father , I just kept blocking him because I hated that he left me to deal with that situation alone . But now I’m learning to let go . I think I need therapy to deal with it . I read the Bible a lot . But it’s so hard because … I just feel so guilty. I’m watching my daughter grow up wondering how my other baby would have been . That’s the worst feeling in the world . I honestly hate myself for what I did and I know God forgives me , but I don’t know how to forgive myself . That’s the truth about abortion , you’ll hate yourself when it’s over like me .

Diamond

Date 2/06/2024

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See The Lord Don’t Play About Me

Let me tell you something , watch your back because people are crazy . All I will say is God just STOPPED a major attack against me . People will smile in your face just to hurt you , watch your self . But I praise God that I have victory over the devil and victory over Satan , because God will reveal all . When GOD tell you about somebody you BETTER LISTEN !

Saying, Touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm. – Psalms 105:15

Queen Diamond

Date : 2/05/2024

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My Wedding Ring Was Beautiful

Today I cried all day thinking about my husband and how much I loved him . My heart was broken in a way you could never imagine . I cried and someone had to comfort me . I was hurting so much . I looked at my wedding ring and just wanted to end it all . I meant what I said when I said my vows and to loose my husband to drugs has been the most …. Painful thing I have ever gone through . To watch someone fade away that I was in love with and become unrecognizable has been terrible . The marriage was abusive because of drugs . I remember before he was hooked on drugs he would leave rose petals at my bed when I woke up and it would be gifts and purses waiting for me . Either way I give it to God . Sometimes it hurts so bad I can’t move . Because he was my HUSBAND . He wasn’t not a boyfriend he was my husband !

***

I had to make the right decision to choose the safety of my child over Ra’keem. God knows that I loved Ra’keem he was my everything and I loved him and his beautiful dark skin. I have no idea when he decided to start doing drugs but I know that I am heartbroken. All I can do is pray and ask God to help me. Below are the pictures of what he used to look like (he was so handsome like prince charming) , our memories, and his favorite pictures of me.

Y’all Ra’keem was so fine and beautiful. Everywhere we went women would swoon over him , but he just used to hold my hand and kiss me and tell me I was beautiful. His spanish rose. Below are our memories we shared together.

😦



Below were Ra’keem favorite pictures of me before drugs..

We kissed and he smudged my lipstick a little in this picture.

This was his favorite dress that I wore and he used to love when I wore my natural hair.

So.. tonight I am grieving. I feel like a widow.. because my husband is unrecognizable. I asked God if we could make it work, God said no. So, I do hope that he would try to become sober because whatever drug he is doing has caused him to loose his mind and commit crimes. When I said I do , I meant that and I was ready to dedicate my life to birthing his children and building him a dynasty through the children we were planning to have. I would get so excited at the thought of birthing his beautiful dark chocolate babies, I wanted his son so bad. But I have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and move on.

….. Diamond

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