My Wedding Ring Was Beautiful

Today I cried all day thinking about my husband and how much I loved him . My heart was broken in a way you could never imagine . I cried and someone had to comfort me . I was hurting so much . I looked at my wedding ring and just wanted to end it all . I meant what I said when I said my vows and to loose my husband to drugs has been the most …. Painful thing I have ever gone through . To watch someone fade away that I was in love with and become unrecognizable has been terrible . The marriage was abusive because of drugs . I remember before he was hooked on drugs he would leave rose petals at my bed when I woke up and it would be gifts and purses waiting for me . Either way I give it to God . Sometimes it hurts so bad I can’t move . Because he was my HUSBAND . He wasn’t not a boyfriend he was my husband !

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I had to make the right decision to choose the safety of my child over Ra’keem. God knows that I loved Ra’keem he was my everything and I loved him and his beautiful dark skin. I have no idea when he decided to start doing drugs but I know that I am heartbroken. All I can do is pray and ask God to help me. Below are the pictures of what he used to look like (he was so handsome like prince charming) , our memories, and his favorite pictures of me.

Y’all Ra’keem was so fine and beautiful. Everywhere we went women would swoon over him , but he just used to hold my hand and kiss me and tell me I was beautiful. His spanish rose. Below are our memories we shared together.

Below were Ra’keem favorite pictures of me before drugs..

We kissed and he smudged my lipstick a little in this picture.

This was his favorite dress that I wore and he used to love when I wore my natural hair.

So.. tonight I am grieving. I feel like a widow.. because my husband is unrecognizable. I asked God if we could make it work, God said no. So, I do hope that he would try to become sober because whatever drug he is doing has caused him to loose his mind and commit crimes. When I said I do , I meant that and I was ready to dedicate my life to birthing his children and building him a dynasty through the children we were planning to have. I would get so excited at the thought of birthing his beautiful dark chocolate babies, I wanted his son so bad. But I have to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and move on.

….. Diamond