Category: Worry

God I Need A Man That Wears A Black Du-rag! God I Need A Man That I Can’t Boss Around ! God I Need A Man That Can Fight ! Help Me Out Jesus ! God I Need A Man That Is Not In-touch With His Emotions !

Today I’m On A Rant Because I’m Tired of Soft Men!  

But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken! – Isaiah 54:17 

Honestly I Am Getting Kind Of Worried  

Before I lost my associates that betrayed me, we always disagreed about something. The type of men that we wanted. Now I see why God had to rip those relationships apart because I can’t deal with it. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if it’s because my birth certificate say’s Chicago or my military record say’s marines… but I just can’t deal.  

I like men that are really… Rough. I like men that are wild … deep voices… muscles… Tall… strong… I don’t like a man that I can run over and boss around. Whenever I tried to change what I like to suit other people it never worked for me. But I am a grown woman now and I’m done pretending. There are really absolutely no good men in the church and I am sick of it.  

I like a man that is about his business but he moves in silence. But I can’t deal with a liar. But I like men that box and can fight. I don’t like cowards. I like a man that is clean, pays his bills, has pretty hair, and never lets anyone disrespect him. I hate soft men.  

I’m so sick watching men wear tight leather pants and flamboyant sweaters. I’m tired of watching men wear wigs and make-up. I’m tired of sissy men. I’m sick of this mess.  I don’t want a man that is in touch with his emotions. I don’t want a man that is sensitive and do a lot of crying . I don’t want a man that doesn’t like to bathe. I don’t want that. Why is finding a good strong masculine man so hard ? I don’t understand these women. Why in the world do you want a man to get pedicures with you. That is so weird. Why do women want their husband’s to act like girls? It’s hard because like I have opportunities to date in the world but God say’s no.. but I’m just getting tired of this. I don’t like men wearing those weird fashion hats and stuff. I don’t like men that are all emotional. I like du-rags , and chains. I need a man that I have to pray to stop smoking black and mild and stuff. I don’t know. I’m just writing out my frustration. 

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Daily Devotion : We Need God To Survive

October 4, 2022

We Need God To Survive  

then the LORD God formed [that is, created the body of] man from the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and the man became a living being [an individual complete in body and spirit]. – Genesis 2:7  

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As I was looking at Hurricane Ian and the damage it has done to Florida and South Carolina I was very terrified at God of what I saw. There were many video’s of people claiming that the ocean was in the street’s of South Carolina and it was indeed. The barrier was gone from the Ocean.  

Have you no respect for me? Why don’t you tremble in my presence? I, the LORD, define the ocean’s sandy shoreline as an everlasting boundary that the waters cannot cross. The waves may toss and roar, but they can never pass the boundaries I set. – Jeremiah 5:22 

It is evident that boundaries were gone in that circumstance. Honestly, that was just a preview of what is to come. People may continue in their sin but God will always continue unleashing his judgment just as he did sodom and gomorrah.  

Then the LORD rained down fire and burned sulfur from the sky on Sodom and Gomorrah.- Genesis 19:24 

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Daily Devotion: That Is Not A Prophetic Word

October 3, 2022  

God Is Not Releasing People To Give A Prophetic Word Every Month 

In 1 Samuel 28, The Bible tells us how Saul The Rejected King consulted a witch because the Lord had left him. Saul was so jealous of David. Saul knew that God was with David, so he went to a witch because God had left Saul to his own reprobate mind. Lately, God has been really speaking to me in private about this matter. Witches who are disguising themselves as prophet’s go on youtube and conjure up a false prophetic word every month and people fall for it.  

1- A real prophet will NEVER release everything that God tells them because it’s none of your business (1 Thessalonians 4:10). 2- If God sends a prophet to youtube it’s for correction… trust me I think I would know. 3- The Book of Acts warns us about Simon the sorcerer . He disguised himself by the use of dark magic that is still happening today (Acts 8:9-25).  

 Personally, I do not understand why people would pretend to be a prophet because it is a very serious and heavy call. That is why God warns us that many should not teach (James 3:1). Currently there are way too many false teachers right now. That is the danger of youtube and social media. People can really really really pretend to be someone that they are not because of their views.. Moral of the story don’t believe every spirit, test it if it be of God (1 John 4:1-5). I’m here to gladly say that the false youtube prophetess who has a new monthly word for you is a witch ignore her and keep moving on.  

May God Be With Me As I Preach The Gospel,  

Apostle Sandre’a  

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I Didn’t Get To Heal

 I Didn’t Get To Heal 

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When I found I was pregnant I was very very shocked … because I was in a bad place . I didn’t expect to get pregnant because I never wanted to be married so , you know in Christian culture you have to be a wife and have kids and whatever … but I never wanted that . So when I found I was pregnant I was happy … but I really realized how totally broken I was. 

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It was hard watching everyone have a baby shower and be happy … I didn’t have any friends so I didn’t get that . I didn’t have family that loved me so I didn’t get to have a registry . I didn’t get to call and have someone check on me or really care about how I was doing . I celebrated her 1 month by myself with a ballon and a cake singing happy birthday to her . But tonight … I realized that maybe my ministry is for the woman who didn’t get to heal. Maybe my ministry is for the woman whose husband beat her after having the baby and is broken . Maybe my ministry is for the mother who had to work right after having a baby (like me ) because she had responsibilities and didn’t get to rest . Maybe my ministry is for the woman who was beaten 3 months after having a baby and felt empty and foolish . Maybe that’s who God has called me to . I was going through my phone and found this picture of me and my daughter . My eyeliner is gone on one eye because I was tired after working a night shift . She looks so much like me . As I watch her sleep I honestly beg God that she doesn’t have my story . That’s the hard part of being a mother . We clean houses , sweep floors , endure domestic violence while secretly wiping tears from our faces . We smile at church when our husband just hit us in the car . We suffer and give birth when men leave us at the hospital by ourselves . And yet … when our baby says “mommy I love you “ all that pain goes away because our children don’t know what we just went through to pay our bills . 

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I’ve accepted I’m not called to the pinky promise clan , that eat vegan and never have to worry about anything because there husbands just love them so much … nope … I’m called to that woman who was been beaten and choked while pregnant , I’m called to that woman who hated herself and cried herself to sleep every night while pregnant because her husband keeps staring at other women in public … I’m called to that woman who didn’t get a chance to heal after she had a baby because she had to pay bills … I pray for you because I pray for myself. God will provide and take care of you .

Sandre’a

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Break The Curse Of Maternal Hatred & Abuse

As I was reading the word of God today a line appeared and it said “identifies the speaker as Nehemiah, son of Hachaliah” . Lately , God has been speaking to me a lot about motherhood and parenting in my personal time with God . There are not many good examples of motherhood especially in the church. There are not good examples of loving our children and preparing our children to carry the torch. Although , Nehemiah authored a book of the Holy Bible , his father Hachaliah planted the seed so that Nehemiah could go forth . 

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Bigger Opportunities 

Maybe Nehemiah father didn’t have the same opportunities as Nehemiah did. Maybe Nehemiah father HAD to work on the farm all day to provide for his family … Maybe Nehemiah family was born into poverty and he HAD to work long hours to get his family out of poverty ? Maybe all this is true . 

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Personal Experience 

When I was in High-school although I was accepted into a AP Program for gifted children , I wasn’t allowed to do homework when I got home because my abusive family made me and wanted me to fail out of the program because according to their words they wanted me to be a bum like my father

 – but I would NEVER do that to my own child … My daughter Ruth is so smart and so advanced that she shocks many at her level of intelligence… now only if she could not climb out her crib and climb out when she thinks I’m not looking that would be nice 😂

I didn’t have another option beside the military actually truth be told I never wanted to go into the Marines , I wanted to go into the Army buuuuttt again they wouldn’t sign the papers for any other branch because there was a weird obsession of making it look like I wanted to be like someone’s creepy spouse 

  • with Ruth … she is NOT ALLOWED to enter into the military .. she better figure it out , now when I have a son maybe … because God has told me something about my future son . But my daughter ? NO ! 

I went through a lot of abuse as a child , things that I’m to ashamed to even speak of , but because she was a police officer she abused me and did some of the most evil and terrible things to me and then called the police on me and 9 times out of 10 they believed her because she was a police officer , but there was 1 police officer who said that God had a plan for me 

  • That will NEVER be Ruth’s story , I would never call the police on my daughter and I would never let my husband abuse her . I would never purposely make her fail school to become a statistic. Because I love her . 

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Truth is while reading this one simple line I understood Nehemiah’s father … I didn’t have opportunities… I didn’t have chances my life was hard . While people enjoyed Highschool I had to work at jobs to get out of the house as soon as I turned 18 . But that will never be my daughter’s story . Nehemiah father probably didn’t have the same chance as his son , but it’s the fact that his suffering provided a way for his son to honor him and carry on his legacy . 

I get tired of hearing the same story of “well the only reason she did that is because that happened to her” that’s a bunch of crap . I didn’t abuse my daughter and I never had the desire to do it . Just because you were abused doesn’t give you the right to abuse someone else . Love your child and break the curse ! 

Isaiah 54:17

King James Version

17 No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.

What was difficult is that even though people knew I was raped , abused , molested somehow some way it was always my fault . In the church they said I was raped or harassed because I had a spirit in me . Now you could imagine my journey to Christ was not easy . I left the church because I didn’t want anything to do with Christian’s because of what I saw . But when I was in the wilderness , I was broken down so low that I had to call out to God . I had to find God for myself , I didn’t come to God at church or through prophecy , but through The Holy Bible . 

There are some days I struggle as a mother . My daughter is beautiful so she gets a lot of attention … smh we were actually in the store the other day and a 4-5 year old boy literally broke his neck staring at her I got angry but honestly … it scared me a little . It scared me because I know what I have been through .. and that’s a whole other battle . Sometimes it does scare me when I see the attention she gets … people always tell me that they are obsessed with my daughter … but daily I trust him (God) for help in raising a beautiful daughter … because I just don’t want her to experience the pain I went through because of beauty . 

If I didn’t do anything else on this earth , I want my legacy to be remembered as a woman who taught mother’s to love God and not abuse their children . Especially, for multi-cultural women (Titus). We have to break that curse of hating our daughters and children , we have to break that ! Multi-cultural women we have to do better and love our daughters and sons.. even if no one loved you . 

Love Sandre’a , 

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Your Baby Has Purpose

To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven: – Ecclesiastes 2:1 Berean Standard Bible 

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I remember when I was pregnant and the nurse looked at me and said I was colored and that the medical team didn’t care about me or my baby .. I remember when white doctors told me over and over again to abort my daughter because something was wrong with her (that was a lie) . I remember when after a root canal (after they said it was ok ) I felt my baby kicking and fighting in my womb . I remember when I called and they said that nothing was wrong but I heard God say , “Go to the hospital “… I remember when I almost pushed her out while driving to the hospital and was in so much pain . I remember when I got there and they said all my fluid was gone and my water seemed liked it broke one week ago and she had ZERO fluid to sustain her . I remember when I prayed and said “God … I’ll do it .. please just save her “ . I remember when I delivered her at 10:15 a.m. and instantly I decreed , prayed , prophesied , and dedicated her back to the Lord . Godly mother , you have to understand that the enemy will not attack what he is not afraid of . God had to speak that into my spirit , that warfare and attack is because God has a plan and purpose for little Phoebe – Jewel (Jeremiah 29:11) . As Jochebed hid baby Moses in the basket , so I am to my beautiful Jewel . I am saying this not as though my child is better than yours but to encourage and remind you that as a MOTHER , you have a spiritual battle to engage in and it’s for the holiness , preparation , and mandate on your child’s life . Keep pressing on and trust God ! Because everything is going to be ok . 

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Love Sandre’a 💕

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