Category: Anxiety, and Depression

Daily Devotion: Can God Be Clearly Seen In Your Life?  

Daily Devotion: Can God Be Clearly Seen In Your Life?  

Matthew 3:3 

New Living Translation3 The prophet Isaiah was speaking about John when he said,“He is a voice shouting in the wilderness,‘Prepare the way for the Lord’s coming!  Clear the road for him!’”[a] 

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Sometimes we wonder… God why? Well, the answer is what portal in your life is welcoming unnecessary warfare? Is it the music you listen to? Is it the pictures that you post that are inappropriate? Is it the shirts that you are wearing that do not exemplify Christ? That’s the answer. If you want and need God to move in your life. Then you have to make a clear path for him to have his way in your life. Keep going and make it clear and make plain to God that you need God to move in a quick and speedy way.  

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Merry Christmas Nehemiah

This Christmas has been a little hard because it is the first Christmas that I openly talked about my unborn son and finally told the truth. I have never told the truth about what I have done but now the truth is out. I prayed and God told me it was time to release it because it would save someone else’s life but also to discuss the pain of abortion even if it is by pill. However, I faced some backlash and some people were offended by his father. It is not hidden that my son’s last name is Hammonds, that is his father’s last name. I said who he was because people have lied on me so much and so many rumors I did not want there to be any confusion and God told me to set it straight. But what angered me is that some people were offended by my testimony of my son … My eyes have been opened.

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I will never be ashamed of my son. I will never deny my son to please my husband. I will not act like I never had another child to make my husband happy. If I have to lose my marriage for that… I’m okay with that. People are hypocritical. I do not have some weird obsession of his father. As I have stated before me and his father currently.. well there is nothing much to say about that. His father has moved on and so have I. I wish nothing but the best for my son’s father. I wrote about him previously because I believe I was building courage to finally tell the truth.

I will always love my baby. I cried for years . His name is Nehemiah Seth Hammonds. I do not care if religious people are offended by my son. You can go to hell and die. Be grateful because I could have said that a lot worst.

I love you Nehemiah. Mommy would never deny you.

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Daily Devotion : Hosea 3 MSG

Hosea 3The Message

In Time They’ll Come Back

3 Then God ordered me, “Start all over: Love your wife again,
    your wife who’s in bed with her latest boyfriend, your cheating wife.
Love her the way I, God, love the Israelite people,
    even as they flirt and party with every god that takes their fancy.”

2-3 I did it. I paid good money to get her back.
    It cost me the price of a slave.
Then I told her, “From now on you’re living with me.
    No more whoring, no more sleeping around.
    You’re living with me and I’m living with you.”

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4-5 The people of Israel are going to live a long time
    stripped of security and protection,
without religion and comfort,
    godless and prayerless.
But in time they’ll come back, these Israelites,
    come back looking for their God and their David-King.
They’ll come back chastened to reverence
    before God and his good gifts, ready for the End of the story of his love.

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I Don’t Need Or Care About Your Advice

Yes… This Is What I Like  

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument], And before you were born I consecrated you [to Myself as My own]; I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1:5  

  • I like wearing the color black – no I am not gothic , I am not a witch, and it does not symbolize death. Amen ? Amen  
  • Yes I like make-up , and looking good around the house – no I am not extra, I do not care if you do not like it then don’t come around then … Amen ? Amen .  
  • Yes , I have long natural hair.. But I wear WEAVE and I wrap my head when I don’t feel like having my WEAVE in – Amen ? Amen.  
  • Yes , I get fake nails – and ? Are you paying for it .. nope ! Goodbye then.  
  • Yes ..  my attitude is mean and I am sassy… goodbye now. God loves me. Lol.  
  • Yes… I am ghetto but classy at the same time. I am ghetto classy,  
  • Yes I am a prophetess.. I know you say I don’t look like one … could care less .. goodbye now.  
  • Yes I am unfazed and unbothered and nothing bothers me… so what ? Goodbye.  
  • Yes I am cool , calm, and collected. I don’t like nerds or weirdo’s or strange people. Amen.  
  • Yes I am Christian. The Lord Is Kind To Me. Amen.   
  • Yes I like a man that lowkey skateboard and wear skateboard clothing… but I can’t skateboard? Toodles.  
  • Yes, I like a man with tattoos and have their ears pierced and wear silver chains around their neck… amen? Praise God. I’ll take him through deliverance don’t worry.  

I Had To Accept It  

Since 2015, I have been living my life to appease church people and God had to set me free today. I had to throw some clothes away and I had to throw some ideas away. I have to be me and no one else. I cannot pretend anymore. I can’t. I have tried to make so many people happy in how I dress and look so that people would feel comfortable around me. But now… as a grown woman. I do not care anymore. If my presence makes you insecure? Then I do not care. Something is wrong with you and not me. I will not let another woman or somebody change me again. The only man that I will change for is Jesus. Today I am on my journey of becoming ME again. I will marry who I WANT to be with. There is a certain type of man that I want and I will have it. I do not care about your advice or what you think I should do. Never again will I consult about my ministry and my decisions. I am a grown woman.  

to reveal his Son to me, so that I might preach the Good News about him to the Gentiles, I did not go to anyone for advice, – Galatians 1:16 

Stop Asking For Advice  

Understand that if you ask a good trustworthy spouse that is different. But from this day forward, I will NEVER ask for advice again. It took me 7 years to see that advice almost ruined my life. Advice from the wrong person can destroy you in a way you could never imagine. Stop running to random people about your life and focus on God.  

Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” –  1 Corinthians 15:33  

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Thought Process  

Thought Process  

But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. – Luke 2:19  

Last year I was speaking to someone that I still love and care for. I was still angry and bitter about something that occurred when we were younger. I said some things that I regret. But what he said to me was, “I hope he is a better man to you than I was”. I remember that day because I closed my laptop in anger. I walked away and brushed it off, still angry. At that moment I felt like I finally got my vindication for what happened… But no… That was not my vindication. That was something else… God was about to heal my thought process.  

Little by little, my marriage unraveled. Little by little the marriage became more and more evil. I endured things that I cannot even imagine. Because my soon to be ex-husband would not listen to me, the landlord waited two weeks before the end of the lease to lie and say that we would not leave the home. That’s a lie… I GLADLY left the uninhabitable home. Because my husband would not listen to me his brother waited until he left and jumped me after I had a baby (I won btw… Almost got arrested though). I don’t want to continue on all that happened … but out of everything that transpired in the old relationship between me and that man… I can honestly say that he never did this to me.  

As We Are Closing The Year 

I have been forced to sit back and talk to God about a lot. I had to tell God he was right… Because in 2019 God told me that me and that other man would be back together… OfCourse being stubborn I wouldn’t accept it and now look at me. What makes it worse is that I literally told him that my “new man” (ex-husband) moved me into the house, had a lot of money, was an accountant, and all of these other things… but what does the Bible say…? 

And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? – Mark 8:36  

Yes, my soon to be ex-husband had a job as an accountant … but … I don’t even think I will be ready to tell what he did… or if I will ever be ready. Yes… he had a bachelors but… he hurt me in ways I can’t explain. Yeah… he moved me into his 4-bedroom house… But it was HELL, he constantly made bad decisions because of his pride and ego and would not listen to me and now we are being sued for something that we did not even do. Yes… he was a youth pastor at a mega-church… but he… I can’t even say it. It’s terrible.  

Moral Of The Story  

I can’t explain how I feel. The days when I woke up in this terrible marriage with black circles under my eyes. The days I did not recognize myself. The days I couldn’t move out of the bed for MONTHS … For TWO YEARS I looked in the mirror and did not recognize myself.  

How do I look? A man that I secretly love asked me for another chance, I told him no and told him about my ex-husband and now look at me?  Lesson learned. You have to be so careful how you treat people… Because you have no idea how it is going to come back to you.  

I married my ex-husband because I thought it would look good for ministry. Here I am an international prophetess and I am married to a former pastor at a megachurch. Sweetheart, that was the worst decision of my life. I have heard so many horror stories from first ladies that said don’t ever marry a pastor. I thought they were crazy… Nope… You would not believe what they secretly do.  

But the crazy thing is… God told me not to marry my ex-husband. I am thankful for his grace that carried me through that like Gomer and Jonah. I regret my ex-husband.  

Thought Process  

God takes us through battles to warn other people. To the young man… Be very careful marrying for ministry and how it looks. Pursue God and pursue happiness. You would be very surprised and shocked at how evil some women are in the church. To young ladies… DO NOT marry a pastor. Pursue God and let God make you happy with a man that will make you smile and happy.  

Now I Want A Second Chance  

Now I want a second chance to listen to what God has to say. I want a second chance with the man that God has for me.  

But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken! – Isaiah 54:17 

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