Category: Christian Living

Some Real Stuff I Learned About Life, Love, & Marriage

Hello everyone,

So as you all know I am getting a divorce and it has caused me to do alot of self-reflection. As a GROWN woman, I have been forced to learn alot about love and what I desire. Not only that I have learned alot about warning signs in a relationship and when to say no. So here are three tips that I learned so hopefully you do not make the same mistake that I did. Being my age at 27 years old and starting over has been a pain that I have never felt. It has caused me to accept that no one really has ever loved me in my past and it has caused me to see that I never really had a man to protect me. I never had a man that loved me and I never had a man that was worth anything. Over the years, the men that I dated were truly honestly nothing. Because of how they look other women might want them but they honestly repulse and disgust me because they are truly worthless. Not even venting just being truly honest. Because I understand alot and see alot , I watch as people who do not know God live these marvelous lives meanwhile as a woman who knows the bible my love life has been terrible in my past. I married a pastor and he was a disgusting, filthy, and worthless compulsive liar and not even worth being called my husband. I dated a man in the Marines and now that I look back he was so gross in his behavior, I do not know why I even went to a certain emotional bond with him. There alot of things that I realize and I just want to be alone for a long time so that I can heal in the proper manner.

1 – Do not ever date a man that lives with his mother. See I made that mistake. My ex-husband lived with his mother and he became weird like his mother and he started acting weird and ugly just like his mother. Do not EVER live with a man that cannot be man enough to be without his mother, especially if she was promiscuous when she was younger. My ex-husband mother was very promiscuous when she was younger and she lied about people sexually abusing her in her childhood. Constantly she let her boyfriends abuse my ex-husband, yet for some reason she constantly played the victim and she became jealous of me when I registered my business and went to college. So because I was in college , I was scoring so high that I had multiple scholarships and they jumped me and called the police on me because I was a veteran after I had my baby. Then she set me up… but the thing is so did Ra’keem. Ra’keem set me up also and started acting just like his mother, Tanya. That made me realize that a HUGE warning sign is NEVER live , engage, or marry a man that is that attached to his mother because he will betray you. His mother was sick in her head. Ra’keem and Tanya relationship was very inappropriate and very weird. Matter of fact they were working together to do shady stuff with their taxes and the IRS because he is a former accountant. Just saying, do not do it. Stay away from those type of men.

2 – Actually I am going to list five tips, do not date a man that has children . I am sorry woman of God, if you have children that is fine but if he has children DO NOT get involved this is why. You are the woman, so you control your home and your life. He is a man and he wants to be around his kids, his kids mother influence is going to try and attack your house with all it’s might. I had my own house, Ra’keem is dirty like his ex-wife and he is on drugs like his ex-wife. I am not on drugs and I am not dirty, so I had to divorce him. Their daughter (Ra’keem and his ex-wife) was the tunnel to his drug usage because of her influence through their daughter. Start fresh, and have a man that DOES NOT have kids. If he has kids with another woman he will tear down your house and everything that you worked for because his kids will go and complain as to why their mother does not have what you have and he will begin to resent you . So DO NOT DO IT .

3 – Girlll… get a man that tells the TRUTH no matter what over a man that LIES ! Girl, if you are dating a man and he honestly tells you that he is attracted to you but he is not ready to be in a committed relationship that is better than being with a man that lies and says that he is faithful and he is NOT ! It is better for a man to be honest and tell you the entire truth of who he is and what he is doing, than a man that lies and this is why. One, girl if he lies and says he is faithful and he is not he WILL get someone else pregnant behind your back and marry them and try to make you the side chick. Two, if he says he is faithful and he is not he WILL give you a sexually transmitted disease and have you in the hospital because he lied and said you were the only one just to have intimacy unprotected and he infected you. Three, Girl if he lies he will steal for that other woman and frame you for it. He will hate you because the other girl lets him do WHATEVER he wants and you ask questions he will turn on you and have another woman in your house and he will lie and tell everyone that he was the one faithful and you cheated (which is a lie), he will lie and say you gave him the diseases (which is a lie), and he will lie and tell everyone that your baby is not his (which is a lie).

4 – Girl the devil is in the church. Just because he is a pastor does not mean he is a good husband. Girl men who are pastors (modern day) have pornography addictions and problems, their unfaithful, and their compulsive liars. Most modern day pastors are perverts and they cannot control themselves. They listen to other women over their wives and do some of the most hurtful things to their wives and girl that is white and black and hispanic pastors. Do NOT date a Pastor.

5 – Girl keep your instagram on private and do not tell anyone when you start dating a new man. Keep everyone out your business. Girl, if he send his friends to come get you reject him because his friends will be his downfall. He needs to be a man and meet you and talk to you like a man. If he wants you then he needs to meet you face to face, and get him tested ! I do not care, be honest about your status and you do not lie either and get him tested to make sure that he does not have any sexually transmitted diseases. Do not be irresponsible with your body and do not date a man that is irresponsible with his body. DO NOT date a man that meets women online and sleeps with them. DO NOT date a man that meets women on dating apps like plenty of fish or tinder and sleeps with them, he could give you HIV/AIDS or HERPES or Something else. Do not do it !

6 – Girl I got to keep going. DO NOT DATE A MAN THAT YOU HAVE MORE MONEY, INFLUENCE, OR WORK HARDER THAN ! Girrrrrrrrrrrrllllllllllllllaaaaaaaa heeeeeeeedddddd my warning ! Do not date a man you have more money, more influence, or work harder than because he WILL try to destroy everything that you worked for and he WILL beat you. You need a man that has more money than you because then he will not be jealous of you and try to destroy everything that you worked for. You need a man that has more influence than you so he can manage you and protect your influence and your destiny, and you need a man that works harder than you so that when you have a baby your body can heal the proper way. I did not get a chance for my stomach to heal after I had a baby so I had a pregnant pouch for almost three years. So I do not want you to go through something that bad , because that really was hard to deal with. So you need a man that works harder than you so when you have a baby you can take some time off and your body recover without you worrying about bills and formula and other things.

7 – Celibacy. If you had a man that you had a child with, it is best for you to be celibate until the child is 18 years old. This is why. I am sorry to tell you this but these men are so evil, you do not want to lose the love of your life because your ex was jealous of your new relationship and accused you of doing something with him that put your child in danger, because if that happens then the man that you love has every right to leave you and that is not sin because he has to protect himself from accusations. So it is best to just raise the children and focus on being a good mother, and wait on God and then God will give you a man who is like a Chief because you were holy when you waited.

I know I said I do not want a husband, but I do want to be married. But I understand the burden I have to carry. So yes, I believe in God for a new husband but I am going to wait and focus on doing ministry while I parent and raise my child.

Queen Diamond

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There IS NO other Tupac

So , in my mind Tupac is my baby daddy and I have his child , he buys me diamonds and jewels , tells me I’m his main chick , and reads the Bible … buuutttt then I watch his I get around video and realize that my baby daddy Tupac can’t be tied down and he sleeps around so I probably have to look for a new Gansta boo very soon to spare my beautiful heart 🙃 but until then I have to state that there is NO female Tupac and there is no other Tupac . Now , I speak on the behalf of Tupacs fans that we are very tired of your disrespecting my baby daddy .

1 – Tupac is NOT gay and he is not bisexual so the people who STOLE his estate needs to stop lying on my man 🙃 if you wanna be gay then go to hell and be gay BUT stop lying on MY MAN and releasing gay clothes in MY MAN name . Thanks lying hoes .

2 – CAN’T NONE of these female rappers rap like my man so stop comparing them CAUSE THERE AINT NO comparison . All they do is hold they legs open and rap so men buy they’re songs … MY MAN HAS TALENT and they DO NOT !

3 – As his first gospel singing baby muva, I speak on behalf of his fans saying we are reaaaaalllyyyyyy tired of you lying on our FAV rapper . JUST STAWP IT !! We tired of you faking on him because he ain’t say nothing . Stop lying on MY man .

4 – I’m getting really tired of you talking about my man teeth and his nose ! FIRST of all I adore my man teeth and his nose , you jealous heifers !

So as I close , no I am not Tupac’s literally baby moms but oh yes how I wish I was and as a fan I can dream can’t I ? Just saying I make pretty babies . So I shoot my shot with fine black millionaire that’s raps? I’m just talking . Matter of fact . I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get a new husband because like my next man gunna see that I was crushing on 2pac 😩 but that’s tea ☕️

I Said WHAT I Said ,

Queen Diamond

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I am officially done with ministry

I am officially done with ministry. 

A few years ago I felt like God had chosen me to be in ministry even though I hated it with all my heart. Lately, I have been doing the bare minimum just so God will leave me alone and stop afflicting  me.  But after making a terrible decision to marry my husband and dealing with the stupidity that comes with the church I made the decision that I am done with ministry. It’s not worth it. I’m not doing it and I do not care if someone else is a void filler because I refuse to preach. So, do not worry everyone, no I am not off the deep end, I just do not care anymore and I am done. 

Seriously, 

Diamond 

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The Truth About Divorce As A Single Black Mom

God Is Not Going To Bless Them

Galatians 6:7-9

King James Version 7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

God Is Not Blessing Them 

As I was faced with the very real truth about divorce and all that I have gone through I realized that my marriage cannot be revived. Today God was speaking to me about my love life and the men I have dated in the past and the Lord said, “let them go”. Yes. God told me to let ALL of them go. I realized that because I have become more well known that I have dealt with jealousy and cruelty to a whole new level. I realized that the racism I dealt with mixed with the constant bad decisions that my husband makes has caused me to accept that I am done. 

As a single mother, I realized that my husband’s constant bad decisions have severely impacted my daughter and I and I are done. No more back and forth , I am getting a divorce. I do not understand how my soon to be ex-husband could make such bad decisions and then somehow try to play the victim and say he hates himself for what he did to me. The thing is every relationship does not end because of infidelity. My soon to be ex-husband did not cheat but he is a compulsive liar. He lies about everything, he will look me in my face and lie and then get upset that I do not believe his lie and continue to lie. But the lying has gotten so bad that he has put my daughter and I  in severe danger more than once. He takes better care of his other daughter than mine and then gets angry when I address it. He has done everything he can to stop me from working to earn my own money. He has lied and caused me to be in legal battles that were not my own, and thankfully I have had victory over them. Yet, what God has told me is, “get ready to go”. Yes, God told me to leave him. 

God helped me to see that the provision that my soon to be ex-husband currently has is only to provide for Ruth and I. God made me see that this generation of men must reap what they have sown. The things that this generation of men do is plain evil and it is wrong. I look forward to the day of my divorce. Being married to him was a nightmare. I gave him a house filled with love and peace and he can vouch for that which is why he doesn’t want a divorce. He keeps pushing back the date and he looks shocked when I say we’re getting a divorce. My ex-husband and I were married in New Bern, North Carolina. In North Carolina the rules for divorce are very complicated. Both people have to prove that they were not with each other for

1 year before they can legally file for divorce. We have both agreed that I will have full sole custody of her and he does not pay child support that is the deal. 

But honestly, God TOLD me not to marry him. I will never forget that day I got married I had a dream the night before God said , “Don’t do it ! Don’t marry him” ! So because I married God told me that he was going to show who he really is. Yes he did and I want out. Marrying him was a mistake. I have never seen a man like him. For a man to make bad decisions that cause a domino effect on his family and be only concerned about a coke head’s problems ? Yeah.. I’m good. Lesson learned. 

As a black woman I understand that self-worth must be taught. As a black woman who is becoming a single mother I am very disgusted by what happened in my marriage. He told me he hates himself for what he did to me and he does because I was truly a good wife. I do not have time for the influence of women to constantly cause him to make terrible decisions. 

Someone who is a bad decision maker can and will be the end of a marriage and end of a family. Because those bad decisions lead to serious consequences. As I am walking on water, I accept that this marriage was a mistake. Like I have told him the only good thing I got from it was my daughter. 

Every Birthday for me and my daughter he has ruined, yet he expects everyone to hurdle around his other child and Ruth and I are not doing it. I told my daughter the other day she is no one’s embarrassment and she is no one’s back up plan. I will NOT teach my daughter to allow any man to give her bread crumbs and not even her father. He already knows that his family is NOT allowed to see Ruth and it is because of their drug usage. 

As a single mother, I have had to learn some valuable lessons about obedience. Everything I worked for he tore down. As a dating mom, I realize that a reason I do not think I will be quick to date again is because it is terrible being married to someone who will ruin everything you worked for. For my husband to ruin what I worked for is a different level of pain. This man is not some bum I met on the street, this is my husband. I do not know if I will be able to trust another man right away because I cannot allow a man to cause me to lose what I worked for. Mentally, emotionally, and physically I am done with this marriage and my daughter and I are moving on. I refuse to date anyone from my past because I will NOT allow another irresponsible man to put my daughter and I at risk of losing everything again. In this situation I was NOT chasing a man, this was my HUSBAND , a man that I did business with… I am DONE. I am done. 

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When Everyday Feels Like A Living Nightmare 

When Everyday Feels Like A Living Nightmare 

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33 

Truth Be Told 

Lately, I have been doing alot of thinking and I have been wondering why people are jealous of me. I have been wondering because for some reason I encounter this spirit of jealous but especially from women. I get the stares at my body, I get the eye rolls, and I get the questions that they ask. Yet, in my mind I have my own opinion and I think what they do is silly. 

I never really wanted to be in ministry and to be honest I still don’t. I do not understand why God chose me and to be honest I do not want God to use me, but that does not stop God from trying to use me. So I am in this constant battle of God making me do what he wants me to and the consequences that happen when I don’t. But God already told me I will never do what he told me to and trust me I am okay with that. 

I Did Not Get The Life I Wanted 

I never really wanted to be where I am now. I had other plans and to be honest I still want those plans. It’s hard because I could make the decision to go back to those plans any time that I want but there is a reason I don’t. I’m getting older and I am embracing that one day I will be 30 and I am not happy about that. I am not happy with where I am and I am not looking forward to 30 and I did not think I would be 30 in ministry. But I realize that I am not the only one that thinks like how I do. So I write to the people that really are not feeling the church thing and that are really tired of dealing with spiritual warfare. I write to the people that watch everyone else drink liquor and party and secretly wish that was you but you know God is watching. I am writing to the people that would really rather be out clubbing and partying, than engaging in spiritual warfare…. Trust me I get it. 

There are a whole lot of things I would rather be doing than praying. I would rather go out, I would rather club, I would rather party, and I would rather be wild like how I used to… but I know that God would probably punish me later. Moral of the story, what you want to do in sin is not worth the punishment and consequence so just don’t do it. I

know you don’t understand why everyone enjoys this christian walk and you don’t but just don’t engage in sin.. It’s not worth it and one day it will all make sense. 

Diamond 

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