Category: Black Culture

Do You Believe God For A Love Story?

“Do two people start traveling together without arranging to meet?” – Amos 3:3 GNT

          So, not going to lie my love life has not gone the way that I wanted too lately. I have had a rough journey in dating and I feel like lately God wants me to wait on his timing for a spouse. But as a single black woman, I have had a problem with dating cotton picking fools. Men who are extremely lazy, don’t work, don’t shower, momma’s boys, and so many other problems with them. So, because of my bad dating habits, I have been left broken and dealing with a lot of crap. So I made a announcement that the next man I date have to:

• Be rich, handsome, and fight like (Floyd Mayweather Jr.)
• Be rich and  handsome like Chris Brown
• Be rich like Prince William

I absolutely refuse to date anymore broke men and I am not working with them to uplift them anymore. Growing up I never saw good relationships and I always watched women do stupid things because of men. So I was in high school dating grown men behind closed doors.

          But because of that I got into a bunch of terrible and bad relationships. I didn’t have “love” as a child and so I was just going from boyfriend to boyfriend. Well one day life got really serious because I became pregnant, and though I had money I was now dealing with a man (my ex-husband Ra’keem) who was jealous of me, and he was willing to do anything and everything to destroy me.

          So, in 2023 I lost my home, was evicted with (a child), lived in 4 different states, and then moved back to Chicago for a season. I learned the consequences of dating men who are irresponsible and cannot provide a house and home as a man. I don’t believe there is anything wrong with being single, but being in a relationship with the wrong person can lead to danger and disaster.

          I made the decision that for a season that I was going to take a long break from dating and get my life together. I made the decision that fixing my credit score, buying a car, buying a house, and working to fix and restore my career is way more important than dating a man right now. I think in church there is so many teachings on courting, but they are not telling you how bad the dating scene is right now in the Christian world right now.

          Don’t marry someone just because someone in the church say’s to. Get married to someone who is equally yoked to you in responsibility. Also, women do not marry any man that you have more money then. If you have more money than a man he will never be happy for you. Some men hide things under the rug and they wait until you get married to show you how evil, jealous, and envious of you. When a man is jealous of you because he can’t lead you financially – he will do everything that he can to destroy you.

          Even in the process of trying to lose weight, I was dealing with the men I was dating who was not happy for me and would try to argue with me about going to the gym to better myself. As a woman never try to make a man see your point of view if he is jealous of you because you already lost the battle. That is a mental issue that he has if he does not want you to go to the gym to better yourself as a woman. You need to believe God that he will send someone who will have high standards like you, and that he will surely bring someone that will encourage you to push someone to Christ. I know that they say “don’t be unequally yoked to an unbeliever” – but you have to understand a lot of men in the church are secretly gay. So if you have to marry a man who is not saved and you have to lead him to salvation remember 1 Peter 3:4 , “Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”.