Category: Anxiety, and Depression

Why I Am Getting A Divorce and Will Be A Baby Mom’s BUT NOT A Wife Again !

Hey Yall,

Today is 2024 and I have so much time today. I am about to pull a Katt Williams and tell why I am NEVER getting married again and why my ex-husband has to be the most disgusting and repulsive human being that I have ever met. Everyone knows that I used to have a cleaning business, so I like to keep things clean and neat. Before I begin to explain I must openly confess that GOD told me NOT to marry Ra’keem !!!! I have never in my life seen such a dirty and nasty BUM and filthy. One, when we first met he tried to make it seem like he was clean and had his stuff squared away… but when I started living with him and his family ? Ra’keem and his mother Tanya are the dirtiest and nasty people I have EVER met in my entire LIFE ! One, Ra’keem used to have a dog and he would let the dog urinate and poop on his bed and sheets and floor and he would NOT clean it for months at a time. He would let his daughter, Taylor play in a room with feces and urine and glass all over the floor and refuse to correct her and clean it up. Not only that, if Taylor did not want to bathe for weeks at a time he would get angry at anyone who would correct her and tell her to bathe and EVEN told her mother that she was not allowed to correct her own daughter…. NOT ONLY THAT < his nasty mother Tanya takes special needs people into church and then manipulates them and gets them involved into sexual relationships with her and she does not clean and had rats and gnats all over the house ! If that was not enough, when I moved to New Bern I had my own home and it was clean this fool came and was leaving my house nasty and had me arrested and lied on me for stuff I did not do. Then he had the never to go weeks at a time not brushing his teeth and showering and then went and told people that I was a “Sexual anorexic” which is NOT TRUE ! Nah, the fool was DIRTY and I used to pretend to be sleep just so she would not want to sleep with me because he was so disgusting and filthy and dirty . Then when I told him to clean up… HE REFUSED ! The NERVE then he has the nerve and then the police have the nerve to take his side , which was wrong ! Not ONLY THAT, I had to constantly tell him to STOP talking about sex and adult content infront of my daughter because it was wrong ! I came home from running errands and caught him watching him PG-13 movies infront of my two year old daughter !!!

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Oh , then it gets better.. the fool poops himself !!! The fool had the nerve to tell me he would rather be gay then be with his ex-wife April, (while I was pregnant) then I had to deal with MEN flirting with him infront of my daughter !! Not only that, he poops himself and then when I told him he had the entire smelling like s*** he got angry at me and told me that he did not have to take a shower ! He left his draws filled with poop in the floor for days and I had to clean it up because the house smelled like s*** !!! Then he got angry and stormed out when he pooped himself and refused to shower then he got upset got in the shower and stopped coming home (because I told him to shower). Then he had the NERVE to cheat with some woman he met at waffle house (I guess she dirty like him so they a good match) and have the nerve to leave the house nasty ! Not only that, he threw my baby birth certificate and social security card away to be spiteful because I had her stuff squared away . But guess what y’all? This man is a PASTOR !! His mother is a PASTOR !! His spiritual “grandmother” has her own street in Salisbury, Maryland “Reverend Annette Wilson” and her own day! This is crazier !!! Tell me why, his mother Tanya had started talking bad about Reverend after her funeral and lied on her at the FUNERAL ! Not only that, Tanya and Ra’keem was trying to take over her church and become the pastor !! Baby, they were only pretending for over 40 years just to take over her church when she died ! Boy ninjas is crazy !!! Lawdd, let me tell you something !! Then his brother jumped me (you already know I won ) because I did not want to be with him and his mother told him to do it because I was going to college ! Yeah, I had a little bruise after that incident but it was nothing major. Then the Prince George’s Police had the NERVE to tell me I was the one being immature and The Kinston Police told me that I was angry and jealous of Ra’keem because he was cheating on me (which was a LIE) !!!! Then , the property I was renting from Ra’keem caused the business communication to turn sour, BUT the building had MAJOR issues and then the property had the nerve to ask how in the world did invest almost $6,000 into the building and refused to give me the security deposit back and the building was unable to inhabit for church and NOT up to code! Baby what I officially started my business Jesus Is Lord Christ Chapel LLC in 2020, and in the four years in business this is what I learned .

  • Sometimes other black people HATE to see a black person doing well.
  • If you marry the wrong person , they will set you up and call the police on you because you have a business.
  • When GOD say do not marry someone THAT IS WHAT GOD MEANS !!
  • Business has ALOT of racism and the police will target you !!
  • Some buildings you rent from yield no return and the landlord will swindle you, do not waste your time arguing !!
  • Lastly, I need Jesus because baby the way my anger is set up ? Yeah I need to relax.

I am going to list all the evidence I have below. I must say that I would RATHER be a single mom than be with one of those trifling men ! Ra’keem tried to make be feel bad for leaving him and told me most black women do not have a husband and wish they had a husband , but fool you ugly dirty no body having females can have him !!! Baby , I relinquish him!! Tell him to stop texting my phone asking if I still love him take this ninja and his dirty a** and his crazy a** mama and family ! You hoes is NOT hurting my feelings take him !!!! You hoes can have all my exes because they all disgust me !

Below Is The Evidence To Show How NASTY Ra’keem Is

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Below Is The Evidence To Show HOW Trifling The Last Realty Company I Rented From & Spent & $6,000 Trying To Fix Something I Did NOT DO !!

Below is the cute little bruise that was left after his brother and family arranged for me to be jumped 3 weeks after I had a baby because they were jealous that I was going to college. Then Ra’keem says, “well you married me”… Ra’keem as I have told you before GOD TOLD ME NOT TO MARRY YOU . Ra’keem you are hideous inside and out and I wish I never met you. You repulse me and make my skin crawl and I truly hate you and wish I never married you on 2/21/2023. Ps.. yes I have freckles I know that.

  • Queen Diamond

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I Want To Discuss How The United States Of America Government Is Draining Black Social Media Influencer’s & Black Millionaires Bank Accounts

Hello everyone,

After alot of praying I believe that God put this on my heart to say and to warn other people. Everything that you see on social media is not real. People edit video’s, people take over estates and lie , and also the government does drain black people bank accounts; especially when they do not agree with the most recent LGBT propaganda and the pedophilia agenda that they are trying to pass. I can openly say that I had a lot of money saved up , and no it did not come with the help of my ex-husband. When I started speaking against men in dresses showing their nasty ball sacks to children then all of a sudden my bank account started having random charges and started getting drained. This has caused me to really seek the face of God and really hold on to his unchanging hand because I know that satan is afraid of me and I know that I am in the hands of God and I know that God will restore to me everything that was drained. With that being said, I would like to encourage anyone who is going through it as well that you are not alone.

Queen Diamond

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January Monthly Devotion

Monthly Devotion 

January 1-31, 2024 – Daily Verse & Devotion – The Importance Of Your Testimony 

Revelation 12 : 1 -11

Revelation 12:1-11New International Version

The Woman and the Dragon

12 A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. 2 She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth. 3 Then another sign appeared in heaven: an enormous red dragon with seven heads and ten horns and seven crowns on its heads. 4 Its tail swept a third of the stars out of the sky and flung them to the earth. The dragon stood in front of the woman who was about to give birth, so that it might devour her child the moment he was born. 5 She gave birth to a son, a male child, who “will rule all the nations with an iron scepter.”[a] And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne. 6 The woman fled into the wilderness to a place prepared for her by God, where she might be taken care of for 1,260 days.

7 Then war broke out in heaven. Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought back. 8 But he was not strong enough, and they lost their place in heaven. 9 The great dragon was hurled down—that ancient serpent called the devil, or Satan, who leads the whole world astray. He was hurled to the earth, and his angels with him.

10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:

“Now have come the salvation and the power
    and the kingdom of our God,
    and the authority of his Messiah.
For the accuser of our brothers and sisters,
    who accuses them before our God day and night,
    has been hurled down.
11 They triumphed over him
    by the blood of the Lamb
    and by the word of their testimony;
they did not love their lives so much
    as to shrink from death.

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Do You Understand Your Testimony? 

In life there are many difficult trials that you may encounter . Honestly , in 2023 I went through some of the toughest trials I have endured as an adult woman that led to the process of divorce . I didn’t want to share my testimony, yet God reminded me in the book of Esther that Queen Esther was warned by her uncle Mordecai that if she did not speak and do what God said then she would perish . Your testimony is keeping you from perishing . Understand that if God carried you through a storm , then it was meant that he would get glory in your testimony. Remember that . So today , do not be embarrassed about your testimony but instead share it so that other people can be encouraged and persuaded to follow Jesus . 

May The Lord Bless You , 

Apostle Diamond 

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I am officially done with ministry

I am officially done with ministry. 

A few years ago I felt like God had chosen me to be in ministry even though I hated it with all my heart. Lately, I have been doing the bare minimum just so God will leave me alone and stop afflicting  me.  But after making a terrible decision to marry my husband and dealing with the stupidity that comes with the church I made the decision that I am done with ministry. It’s not worth it. I’m not doing it and I do not care if someone else is a void filler because I refuse to preach. So, do not worry everyone, no I am not off the deep end, I just do not care anymore and I am done. 

Seriously, 

Diamond 

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The Truth About Divorce As A Single Black Mom

God Is Not Going To Bless Them

Galatians 6:7-9

King James Version 7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.8 For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

God Is Not Blessing Them 

As I was faced with the very real truth about divorce and all that I have gone through I realized that my marriage cannot be revived. Today God was speaking to me about my love life and the men I have dated in the past and the Lord said, “let them go”. Yes. God told me to let ALL of them go. I realized that because I have become more well known that I have dealt with jealousy and cruelty to a whole new level. I realized that the racism I dealt with mixed with the constant bad decisions that my husband makes has caused me to accept that I am done. 

As a single mother, I realized that my husband’s constant bad decisions have severely impacted my daughter and I and I are done. No more back and forth , I am getting a divorce. I do not understand how my soon to be ex-husband could make such bad decisions and then somehow try to play the victim and say he hates himself for what he did to me. The thing is every relationship does not end because of infidelity. My soon to be ex-husband did not cheat but he is a compulsive liar. He lies about everything, he will look me in my face and lie and then get upset that I do not believe his lie and continue to lie. But the lying has gotten so bad that he has put my daughter and I  in severe danger more than once. He takes better care of his other daughter than mine and then gets angry when I address it. He has done everything he can to stop me from working to earn my own money. He has lied and caused me to be in legal battles that were not my own, and thankfully I have had victory over them. Yet, what God has told me is, “get ready to go”. Yes, God told me to leave him. 

God helped me to see that the provision that my soon to be ex-husband currently has is only to provide for Ruth and I. God made me see that this generation of men must reap what they have sown. The things that this generation of men do is plain evil and it is wrong. I look forward to the day of my divorce. Being married to him was a nightmare. I gave him a house filled with love and peace and he can vouch for that which is why he doesn’t want a divorce. He keeps pushing back the date and he looks shocked when I say we’re getting a divorce. My ex-husband and I were married in New Bern, North Carolina. In North Carolina the rules for divorce are very complicated. Both people have to prove that they were not with each other for

1 year before they can legally file for divorce. We have both agreed that I will have full sole custody of her and he does not pay child support that is the deal. 

But honestly, God TOLD me not to marry him. I will never forget that day I got married I had a dream the night before God said , “Don’t do it ! Don’t marry him” ! So because I married God told me that he was going to show who he really is. Yes he did and I want out. Marrying him was a mistake. I have never seen a man like him. For a man to make bad decisions that cause a domino effect on his family and be only concerned about a coke head’s problems ? Yeah.. I’m good. Lesson learned. 

As a black woman I understand that self-worth must be taught. As a black woman who is becoming a single mother I am very disgusted by what happened in my marriage. He told me he hates himself for what he did to me and he does because I was truly a good wife. I do not have time for the influence of women to constantly cause him to make terrible decisions. 

Someone who is a bad decision maker can and will be the end of a marriage and end of a family. Because those bad decisions lead to serious consequences. As I am walking on water, I accept that this marriage was a mistake. Like I have told him the only good thing I got from it was my daughter. 

Every Birthday for me and my daughter he has ruined, yet he expects everyone to hurdle around his other child and Ruth and I are not doing it. I told my daughter the other day she is no one’s embarrassment and she is no one’s back up plan. I will NOT teach my daughter to allow any man to give her bread crumbs and not even her father. He already knows that his family is NOT allowed to see Ruth and it is because of their drug usage. 

As a single mother, I have had to learn some valuable lessons about obedience. Everything I worked for he tore down. As a dating mom, I realize that a reason I do not think I will be quick to date again is because it is terrible being married to someone who will ruin everything you worked for. For my husband to ruin what I worked for is a different level of pain. This man is not some bum I met on the street, this is my husband. I do not know if I will be able to trust another man right away because I cannot allow a man to cause me to lose what I worked for. Mentally, emotionally, and physically I am done with this marriage and my daughter and I are moving on. I refuse to date anyone from my past because I will NOT allow another irresponsible man to put my daughter and I at risk of losing everything again. In this situation I was NOT chasing a man, this was my HUSBAND , a man that I did business with… I am DONE. I am done. 

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My Testimony To Help Other Young Women: The Truth About Abortion Grief

The Truth About Abortion Grief

Revelation 21:4

English Standard Version

4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

A Few Years Ago.. 

A few years ago, I wrote a book of Poems dedicated to my angel baby. I was grieving so badly and battling depression, because I just had another baby but I began to wonder what it would feel like having him. I reached out to his father, which was a bad decision I might add… because I was grieving and it did not end well like it always does not end well. So I made the decision that I would never reach out again , but I also realized that God had entrusted me to help other young women who were grieving from having a abortion and suffering the rejection from the father. 

The Story Behind Your Decision Is Probably Really Painful 

One thing I am not going to do is , point a condemning finger at you because God did not point a condemning finger at me when I had a abortion. Yes, I felt like God was disappointed in me but at that time I did not know the Lord. I grew up in church but I saw so much craziness that I became an atheist, it was after that abortion and the pain and tears from it that I became a Christian. 

The circumstances surrounding my decision were extremely hurtful and painful, and it is something that even now God has to heal me from because I regret aborting that child because I know the child would have been beautiful and intelligent and that God had a plan for the baby, I made a mistake. But one thought that was eating away at me is that even if he did not love me (the father) and he did not want me, it’s the fact that God knew how much he did not want me and blessed me with a baby that did love me and I had a abortion… That’s the painful side of my decision. 

To this day, he still is the same and I don’t really care (the father). That’s how he is. But I realized that my constant reaching out to him is because I was so depressed by what I had done that I wanted some connection to the baby (I learned this in psychology). So I did not miss him, I missed the baby and the baby came from him. That was a very tough and hard realization that I had to come to and it came by praying and talking to God about my mistake. 

I recommend you to pray and ask God for forgiveness and repent, especially if you did not know the Lord. The truth about abortion’s is that it is extremely painful to deal with. Sad to say commercial’s lie and make it seem like taking the pill is a easy fixer for an abortion, but they are not telling you about the suicide attempts, depression, and self-harm that comes after having a abortion. 

Don’t Cover For Him 

I had to accept that he will never care about me (the father of the baby). I had to accept that he does not care about the abortion and he never will. I am the mom, and I battle all of the grief by myself. I am sorry if you are faced with that same truth. If he does not care about you and he does not care about the abortion, I want you to know that God cares a whole lot about you. I had to accept my truth and give it God. I do not want you to commit suicide . I remember when I wanted to die because I wanted to be in heaven with my baby because it’s really mentally tormenting and  traumatizing. I thought I would be happier in heaven with my baby. I do not want you to commit suicide. God told me I had to live on. You have to live on and you have to trust God , that he will bless you with another opportunity to have a baby. My opportunity was with Ruth and she has brought a lot of healing from the pain of not having my other baby. 

The hardest part is that before I ever admitted what happened prophet’s would come up ; to me and say , “God said forgive yourself it is not your fault”. Collapsing in the spirit, everytime I would scream and cry because it was so painful. Then I had a dream about him, that he was in heaven running and playing hide and go seek with Jesus. He was so beautiful he had my skin complexion, his father’s eyes, but they were dark blue, and dark beautiful curly black hair. He was gorgeous. God said in the dream, “Name him Nehemiah because I sent him to comfort you because you were not loved”. 

I went through alot, but now despite issues I accept what God has to offer me. My current husband said he wanted us to have another baby, and I know that God is going to bless me with another boy one day to comfort me from all of the painful things that occurred in that situation. 

The Conclusion Is Forgive Yourself 

God wants you to forgive yourself, turn from your sin, repent , and never do it again. God wants to heal you from the pain of the rejection that led to that abortion. God does not want you to commit suicide because the father did not love you , which led to you aborting that child. Sadly, men do not feel the grief that a woman feels after having a abortion. I am the mother so while he parties, I cry because I had the duty to carry that child and I failed in that. Even if you failed, I want you to know that God is giving you grace to start over and have another family. Take my advice, and do not ever reach out to him again. Do not ever check on him and see how he is doing again. Do not ever care about his well being again. I am sorry, but he doesn’t love you and you have to accept it and move on. I had to accept that he never wanted me and never cared about me, and it was painful but I accepted it and I moved on. Move on beautiful, it is going to be okay. 

Love Mixed With Faith, 

Apostle Diamond S. Chessier 

Isaiah 40:31

King James Version

31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Copyright Precious-Diamond Sandre’a Chessier

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